The fake sunrise wakes you gently. You stretch, rolling over in anticipation of the familiar sound of hot water bubbling through your drip coffeemaker.
You sit up in bed, feeling the first perks of that cup, and consider taking a few minutes to meditate; you’ve been training and it might set the right tone for the big day ahead. Your first day on the job.
You are already late. You thought your alarm was going off at 6:30. You lurch out of bed and stub your toe on your smart cat litter box.
“Alexa, where’s my coffee?” you demand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that,” she replies. You curse and Alexa pretends she didn’t hear you.
You quickly brush your teeth to your toothbrush’s displeasure. The app informs you that only 12% of your teeth were brushed.
You take a long shower. There is nothing to measure you while you do that.
You’re aging. It’s ok.
You sit down in front of your brightly lit mirror and wait while it analyzes your face. You show up red in almost all categories.
The mirror presents a slideshow of your flaws. It tells you that based on your history, your face is getting worse. “Hey Siri, buy cosmetics” you say to no one. She hears you from the next room.
After getting dressed you quickly check your watch for the weather and suddenly remember your dog—you tap to let him out the back.
Breakfast, time with the kids. You make peanut butter toast with bananas because allergies are no longer a thing. You look at your fake window and smile. You love vitamin D. You’re in such a good mood that you rip off some parsley from your garden art and throw it on your toast. It tastes weird but you don’t care.
Your watch pings you—time to go. You rush to the garage and jump into your Tesla Cybertruck. You press the start button, but the engine remains silent. “0% battery,” the dashboard reports. You forgot to plug in the charger.
Perfect! A scooter.
You hop on and moments later, you’re gliding across the city. Your earbuds provide turn-by-turn directions while your favorite song plays gently in the background.
You have no choice—Uber copter it is, and it looks like there’s sky traffic. “Your pilot is 25 minutes away,” the app tells you. You lob another curse word into the void.
One on one with the new boss, finally. What was his name again? Your camera registers his face. David, your earbuds remind you. David, VP of widgets. Partner: Shani. Children: one. David loves model ships.
You are bored. You call out, “Alexa, tell me a joke.” You’ve forgotten your office does not feature Alexa.
David greets you, and you compliment him on his sailboat tie. He’s flattered. Together you join a remote video conference with your partners in Hong Kong and San Francisco. You can see and hear them clearly. You think the owl is cute but you keep that to yourself.
You check your phone and see you missed an alert about a package delivery. You flip to the outdoor camera and witness your cat and a delivery droid being chased by your security drone. You leap from your chair.
Your boss asks where you are going. “Home,” you say. “The cat’s in danger. My drone is scaring him.” He replies, “Don’t bother coming back.”
Your watch informs you that you have an elevated heart rate.
David tells you to take the rest of the day off. Rest up, he says. There’s plenty of work ahead. He orders a self-driving car to take you home. Specifically, a BMW.
You wonder if your boss had it in for you from the start. Ever since the company partnered with actxa to monitor worker health, you’ve wondered if your relative fitness would make you a less desirable employee. You’ve wondered what they were looking at. It’s probably nothing.
You arrive back home. You find your home defense drone on the front lawn, its propellers smashed to bits. Your cat hisses from the tree. The delivery robot is nowhere to be seen.
You hear a scream and a flurry of notifications on your phone. Your baby is awake. You check the baby monitor from your phone, but the feed seems frozen. Another message comes through, this time with tips on how to be a better parent.
After dinner, you compost the leftovers and toss some scraps to your dog. He lives like royalty—you wouldn’t have it any other way.
You finish watching Barkitecture.
With a zap, your power goes out. A surge fries all your electronics, and mercifully, it’s all over. Your cat saunters back into the house.